The Rambling Addict

Either I’m crazy or everyone is playing one big mean joke on me. Humph.


I feel this so much right now. 
Everyone said that we were “going to end up/be together,” but in all honestly I REALLY didn’t feel that. I had such an overwhelming feeling that My Prince was my absolute best friend and there was no way that it could be better than that because romantic relationships are never exactly like a friendship in that what a BEST FRIEND stands for really, like, really, really there’s no way to have romance too.
I am so glad I was wrong. 
It may not be possible for everyone to have that love and friendship in one person that epitomizes what SOUL MATE stands for, but I can truly say that I believe that I have that. It has not always been that absolute for the entire relationship because part of me was still closed off, but when that single moment happened unexpectedly, it changed everything. 
So, my point is, even though everyone said we would end up together, for me it really was the most unexpected person at the most unexpected time with whom I’ve found my soul mate.
And all because I had not allowed myself to even begin to navigate the person that lied within myself that was patiently waiting to bloom. View Larger

I feel this so much right now. 

Everyone said that we were “going to end up/be together,” but in all honestly I REALLY didn’t feel that. I had such an overwhelming feeling that My Prince was my absolute best friend and there was no way that it could be better than that because romantic relationships are never exactly like a friendship in that what a BEST FRIEND stands for really, like, really, really there’s no way to have romance too.

I am so glad I was wrong. 

It may not be possible for everyone to have that love and friendship in one person that epitomizes what SOUL MATE stands for, but I can truly say that I believe that I have that. It has not always been that absolute for the entire relationship because part of me was still closed off, but when that single moment happened unexpectedly, it changed everything

So, my point is, even though everyone said we would end up together, for me it really was the most unexpected person at the most unexpected time with whom I’ve found my soul mate.

And all because I had not allowed myself to even begin to navigate the person that lied within myself that was patiently waiting to bloom.

(Source: c-oquetry)


Dear diary,

I have been absent for so long. Not because I forgot about you, not because I gave up, but because I was taking a hiatus - but mostly a hiatus induced by being straight up lazy. I still looked at tumblr, reblogged on my main, and thought about the things I wanted to write and post here. 

I glanced through some of my old posts and got so many body rushes of happiness and reassurance. 

I feel relieved that I don’t feel embarrassed of who I was nine or ten months ago. It gave me joy to have something to reminisce about. I don’t feel the need to delete anything because I feel so embarrassed for myself. 

For me, this is such a wonderful release. I have always been outwardly carefree, in that I don’t let what others say or think about me bother me, but really, inside, it did because I wanted everyone to like me. 

But now, I feel, that I understand more about what life is and what it all means. It’s like an epiphany when something that absolutely stumped you all of a sudden flickers on. It floods in so quickly that it’s blinding, but it just works in the end. 

It’s almost impossible to describe because it’s a personal feeling for every one person - like DNA. It’s like Mothers’ milk, or a finger print, or where your understandings and influences and just plain nature make everything make sense

I love life now. I love knowing that it isn’t forever. I love knowing that in the end it all really doesn’t matter. Not in the gruesome-fuck-everything things, but in the grand scheme of things.